Chapter 545 – Permanent Seal
If there was one match in this “underground fight” tournament that met my expectations for an “underground fight”, it would have to be the match I personally participated in.
I vented out all of my dissatisfaction with the previous series of farces plus my hatred towards rapists all in one go.
When my sanity was slightly restored, I was already dragged backwards by Peng TouSi and stationed next to one of the columns in the ring.
It was a chaotic scene. Huang San’s nose blood was spread across the stage like someone sprayed ink all over the stage and then randomly made a few stroke on it with an ink brush.
“Lin, calm down.” Peng TouSi said loudly, “You’re going to kill him.”
“Hahahahaha, is this not what an underground fight should be?” I have to admit that I, since I had just turned off berserk mode, I still felt great satisfaction and pleasure at the sight of blood.
Huang San’s father, stood there and watched as I, “the actor”, violently beat his son. He was stunned and left speechless for a while, but then he grabbed the host and said with bloodshot eyes.
“You guys are so ruthless, you actually hired two monsters regardless of age. Hurry up and save my son.”
“Please don’t panic.” The host panicked, “The paramedics are already on their way. And we really didn’t hire them.”
“Not good, the cops are here!” A security guard who was standing by the window and monitoring outside, suddenly shouted.
Although this city is a third-tier city, the police will notice sooner or later if you guys kept fooling around.
“Holy shit.” In the midst of complaints and curses, Lao Mao’s voice sounded particularly ear piercing, “I can’t get caught or I wouldn’t be able to make tomorrow’s client meeting.”
Most of the other spectators, like Lao Mao, retreated quietly from an underground tunnel set up by the organizers. Master Huang Wu and the other hoodlums rushed to the front, probably because they all had criminal records and were afraid of being questioned by the police.
I inexplicably chuckled a couple times as I watched Huang San be dragged away and the others flee in a panic. It was as if I was the cause of this unforeseen event and I was reveling in the chaos.
I don’t even remember exactly how I ended up being safely brought by Peng TouSi to Ai Mi’s Batmobile.
Berserk mode had the negative effect of reducing intelligence as well as erasing memories. I had made up my mind to use it as little as possible, but I couldn’t control myself once my anger took over.
Peng TouSi controlled the steering wheel and let the car drive smoothly on the highway. He kept silent for a long time as if he was waiting for me to sober up.
I suddenly realized it was the first time I used berserk mode in front of Peng TouSi, so he must have been shocked.
“Actually…” Peng TouSi said after a long time of silent contemplation, “I’ve seen opponents similar to you in death match tournaments before.”
Huh, I was the one who was shocked instead, so that means there were other people using this cool fighting style?
“His nickname was the ‘Mad Clown’. No one knew his real name, but it was said that he was a good man who once cared for his family…”
“Once?” I had a vague feeling that Peng TouSi was talking about a tragedy.
“Well, the Mad Clown was an ex-special forces officer. In order to get enough money to cure his wife’s sickness, he was attracted by the high rewards in underground fights. After he joined the business, in order to hide his identity, he always used camouflage oil to paint his face like a clown. He was reserved and quiet by nature, but in order to please the audience, he gradually developed a second personality.”
“Yes, a second personality. In order to cope to special situations, many people will fabricate a personality to act as an armor to help them adapt to the environment. People who have participated in brutal wars often have a change in personality, the reason being they can no longer remove their personality armor anymore.”
It was my first time hearing personality described like armor.
“Although the Mad Clown really wanted the reward money, he still loathed the rule-free underground fights. In order to relieve his stress, he developed a second personality only for fighting. It was a personality who was infatuated with fighting, enjoyed fighting, and loved to tyrannize his opponents. He referred to his personality change as ‘demon possession ‘.”
“Did it work?” I couldn’t help but feel that the Mad Clown’s approach was similar to my own.
“Yes, it worked very well, at the time he was a strong fighter with odds very close to mine. The boss had been avoiding a fight between me and him. He wanted to wait until one of us began to slip, then milk as much money as possible in the fight of the century.”
“Unfortunately, the Mad Clown went mad before that day came, like actually crazy.”
Even though the AC wasn’t on, I still felt a chill from Peng TouSi’s words. He seemed to be warning me very seriously.
“Lin, cultivating a second personality is very dangerous. Your performance today had a certain degree of similarity to ‘demonic possession’, I hope you won’t use it anymore in the future.”
“Why?” I was rather unconvinced, “It enhances my combat ability and some times I can’t even feel pain, isn’t that convenient?”
Peng TouSi said in a sterner tone, “The Mad Clown was even able to ignore joint fractures, then reverse the tide and kill his opponent. His ‘demon possession’ was even more than your… right, what do you call your second personality?”
“Berserk mode…” I replied with some embarrassment.
“Lin, please seal up berserk mode permanently.”
“Seal it permanently? Is it that serious?”
“The Mad Clown wasn’t only a tiny bit crazy.” Peng TouSi enunciated his words clearly, “He had completely turned into his stage personality even in his daily life. He even killed his wife and children with his own hands, then he was finally shot to death by the police… I don’t want you to end up like that.”
“There’s no… way I would turn out like that…”
Peng TouSi chucked his phone at me.
“I took a picture of your hideous expression in the ring, so take a look.”
I unlocked the phone and what I saw on the screen immediately gave me a scare.
Why would you use a picture of me as the wallpaper? It really gave me the chills.
But Peng TouSi was right, it was the first time I saw my own expression in berserk mode.
It was like I was possessed by a demon.
No wonder the class leader was so worried after the vicious battle with Li LaoEr and Zhao GuangTou.
Anyone who saw my face at the time would think I would kill everyone who got in my way, right?
What’s even more frightening was that I really thought that way. At least in berserk mode, I hit extremely hard and didn’t even consider if they would die or not.
“Peng TouSi, do you think…” I asked with a little hesitation, “I would lose control of ‘berserk mode’ and maybe activate it suddenly in daily life like how Lelouch can’t control his Jiyas?”
“I think you mean Geass, right?” Peng TouSi smiled at me in the rear view mirror, “Ai Mi and I watched Code Geass together while she was doing her yoga exercises. We both agreed the second season wasn’t as good as the first one.”
I only felt belated pain after I saw the bruises on my hand.
I can’t even remember how I got these bruises, I only remember that I gripped Huang San’s hair, but the rest was fuzzy.
It looks like I really overdid. If it was only a “temporary state”, then I shouldn’t have lost my memories. So does that mean my berserk mode really created a dangerous second personality?
The way to enter berserk mode was with anger. If I inadvertently triggered berserk mode in daily life, then wouldn’t I hurt the people around me?
Xiao Qin was strong, so she would be fine. But anyone weaker than the class leader would be in a dangerous situation.
Especially Ai Mi. She has a small body, so if I suddenly went berserk, I might tear her apart with my bare hands.
Did I actually unintentionally create such a terrible move? I’m now trembling with fear after Peng TouSi told me.
I was entering berserk mode more frequently and it felt like it was easier to start. Thus I was losing more and more memories, which was dangerous, so I must make a choice.
Although there was a precedent of entering berserk mode with a clear head while wearing my sister’s panties on my head, that situation can’t be replicated and I also can’t carry around my sister’s panties around for emergencies (even if it’s for justice).
“I understand.” As someone who doesn’t want to hurt innocent people, especially as an older brother, I promised, “I won’t use berserk mode again. I’ll try to repress it and I won’t end up like the Mad Clown.”
“Repress it as much as you can.” Although Peng TouSi was pleased with my answer, he was not particularly optimistic.
“The Mad Clown also tried to overcome his ego, but he failed in the end. I hope you still have time to turn it around.”
Perhaps it was because I was young, but I was optimistic about my own battle with my other personality.
“Don’t worry, it’s no problem at all.”
I said as I deleted the picture from Peng TouSi’s phone.
“Why did you delete it?” Peng TouSi said remorsefully, “I shouldn’t have given you my phone.”
“Only a gay guy would be happy having his picture set as the wallpaper of another man’s phone.”
After Peng TouSi sent me home, I slept peacefully.
I didn’t feel particularly sad even though I had to bid farewell to berserk mode that had been with me for many years. In fact, Yin Yang Sanshou had improved my strength even more and it didn’t have any of the side effects of berserk mode.
Plus, I still haven’t learned all of Yin Yang Sanshou. I only learned “Hua Jin” and not “Fa Jin”. If I could learn Fa Jin, it would completely offset the loss of sealing Berserk Mode.
But Master Ren refused to teach me because he’s afraid I won’t be able to control it well enough and might kill someone. He told me to figure it out myself… who the hell can figure that out by themselves!
Should I beg Xiao Qin tomorrow during her birthday to teach me? I think it’s likely she would agree, but wouldn’t that be admitting defeat if I asked my bully to be my teacher?
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