Chapter 586: The Burdens of Duty
The Burdens of Duty
Although waking early again next morning, Martel stayed in his room and waited for breakfast. He did not leave for a while even after he had eaten, feeling worn out. Late nights and early mornings had taken their toll, and he found himself lacking sleep.
When he finally ventured outside his chamber, he did not go far. He made his way to the library, and he felt a little relieved that nobody else was present. Just the thought of polite conversation with people he did not know well tired him further. Instead, he looked through the different volumes, getting a sense of the knowledge collected in this room. Much of it focused on history, which fit the character of the legate.
Martel spent a while reading about the past days of the Aquilan Empire, brought to an end by the destruction of Archen with its cataclysmic ramifications. To his amusement, the name of Fontaine appeared in one place, mentioned as a commander during a battle.
Having finished the book, Martel read another about the early history of Aster, back when it was little more than the city-state of Morcaster. He was surprised to learn how the city had in its early days been ruled by a council of elders, known as the Senate. It had been abolished when the city was conquered by Aquila, more than half a millennium ago.
Martel had never learned much history, even if Father Andrew had made attempts to remedy this. Since Martel had grown up in the Empire, as had his parents and grandparents, it was easy to feel as if Aster had always existed to rule over them; even if by now he knew better.
***
Making his way through a third book, Martel did not notice somebody enter. "Martel?"
He almost slammed the book shut, as if caught doing something forbidden. He looked up at Eleanor and relaxed. "Hey."
She walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. "I was wondering if we could talk about last night."
"Sure." To Martel, it had been a wonderful evening, but her tone of voice suggested something was wrong.
"You seemed agitated when we walk home. When that man suddenly stepped out in front of us."
"A soldier's instincts, I guess."
"And also during the solstice celebration. The servant who dropped the tray. You were ready to throw a spell at him." She looked at him intently.
Martel wanted to brush it off and dismissed her concerns, but he could never lie to her. "I know this seems silly, but in that very moment, I could have sworn I heard a Khivan musket being fired. I know the two sounds are nothing alike. It's probably because I don't sleep as much as I should."
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"I heard it too." Her voice came so quietly, Martel almost thought he misheard her. "My hand reached for my sword. I plain forgot where I was."
"I can't stop looking around at people. Whenever there's a crowd, my eyes keep moving from one person to the next, as if searching for something, but I don't know what."
"I wake early every morning. I'm tired during the day, but if I lie down to rest, it does not seem to help."
Martel felt his throat almost constrict just at the thought. "The smell of charred meat It makes me think of corpses. Burnt bodies." He looked at her. "We are so far from the front. Why does it feel like it's everywhere we go?"
He could see her trying to contain her emotions. "I am not sure. My father says that some soldiers get accustomed to a life in war and find it difficult to return to peace. But I've never heard him speak of any of this."
"I don't want to be accustomed to war."
"Look, we have a lot of time left in Morcaster. I am sure these feelings will fade, and we shall feel much more at ease. This is just a period of adjustment," Eleanor claimed.
"And then? We have to go back. If this is how one summer has been, imagine the next nineteen." The thought made Martel feel restless, and he had to repress the urge to get up and walk around.
"There is no reason to assume the war will continue that long. And we can bring our case to the legate," Eleanor suggested, though her voice sounded almost feeble. "He must understand that we cannot be expected to constantly seek out the enemy, day after day."
"Why should the war stop? Does it affect any of the people who would make that decision? The Tenth Legion bleeds, but does anybody else? And I think we both know how likely the legate is to listen to our petitions," Martel remarked bitterly.
Her voice quivered, and it looked as if tears might force their way onto her face. "But what else can we do?"
The thought immediately came to Martel, yet he hesitated to speak it. "They send us out of camp alone We could bring extra provisions. If we don't return, they'll never know what happened to us."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Martel, that is desertion! Dereliction of duty! The dishonour it would bring upon my family!"
Martel knew this would be her reaction, and he could not blame her. The same sense of duty, which had made her choose to become protector to her friend, likewise kept her loyal to her family and the Empire itself. "I know. Forget I spoke."
They sat in silence, neither of them looking at the other. Eventually, a bell rang to announce that supper was about to be served.
***
The meal progressed with mostly Lady Fontaine and Genevieve speaking, along with the occasional remark made by Eleanor. The legate was absent, though Martel did not know why, nor did he ask. The thought of making conversation, no matter the topic, felt like a heavier burden than he could bear at the moment.
Near the end of the meal, the master of the house suddenly appeared. The dirt on his boots showed that he had arrived from the outside, and probably come here straight from his carriage. They all stood up in greeting as he entered and only sat down once he was seated as well.
"You have been working long hours today," said the lady of the house.
"Yes," he replied after brief hesitation, which struck Martel as odd. The legate looked at his eldest daughter and his guest. "News arrived this afternoon, of an unhappy nature. I am sorry to tell you this, but a Khivan army has crossed the Savena River north of Esmouth. In light of this, I can only assume you will both be immediately recalled."
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