Chapter 99: The Cost of Innocence
When Yanyue finally left the forge, the corners of her eyes were stained a pinkish-red, two streams of dried tears visible upon her visage. She had known that her Senior Sister, Shadow, was different from others, but she had never imagined her to have such a tragic, heart-wrenching past.
Even though she had only known Shadow for a relatively short time, so much made sense when she recontextualized what she knew of Shadow with her past. The other disciples glorified and even celebrated Shadows ruthless hunt of Demonic Path Cultivators, making her out to be an intimidating cultivator who should be feared. Yanyue suspected that none of them could even begin to suspect the truth, considering that Shadow had joined the Heavenly Sky Sect as a child.
Mortals were not expected to survive a Demonic Path incursion, let alone a mortal child. Master had not told her the specifics of how she managed to escape detection long enough for him to save her, but Yanyue suspected that it had something to do with her frightening talent.
Not once had she heard this story before, though and Master had very clearly told her not to share this truth with a single soul. There was likely a very good reason behind his command and Yanyue did not intend to find out what it was.
As she had gotten to know Senior Sister Shadow more, Yanyue had noticed a dissonance between her fearless demeanor at even the mere mention of combat contrasted with her shy, overly protective personality.
Not once had Yanyue felt uncomfortable in Shadows presence, not a single time did she feel afraid of her senior sister even whilst she had first hand experienced the terror powerful cultivators were capable of inflicting upon her life. Dongmei Xue had not been required to lift even a single finger to trigger a sequence of events that led to the death of her sister.
Yanyue realized that she should have hated Shadow, for she had received everything Yanyue could have asked for as a child. A Nascent Soul level master who would shield her from the winds and rain of tribulation. Access to cultivation resources and techniques that she could only dream of, while Yanyue had lived in a mortal village.
Her parents had been sold dreams when her and her sisters talent for cultivation was discovered. What parent would not wish for their child to outlive them by decades and even centuries? Why would her parents not wish for her to become a master cultivator, to soar the skies as much as her heart dreamt off and gain eternal youth for as long as she lived.
The Heavenly Sky Sect cultivator had promised and her parents had believed, for in the eyes of most mortal villagers, cultivators were the fated ones chosen by the very heavens themselves. They were gods that walked amongst men, for if that were not the case, why was the difference between mortals and cultivators so exaggerated?
Yanyue only remembered a few villagers, a few old uncles and aunties that had advised her against leaving the village. The memory was vague in her mind, but she recalled that one of the aunties had a resigned tone even as she advised her, as if she already knew that nothing she said or did would change her parents minds.
Had they seen through the facade of cultivator society? That, at the end of the day, cultivators were simply people and not gods creatures of flesh and blood that possessed their own desires, aspirations and dreams. People capable of lying, deceit and selfishly acting in their own interests even if it came at others cost.
The darkest day in Yanyues life was the day her sister died. The second darkest day was when she sent word to her parents back in their mortal village, who were now in their late sixties. At the very least, the Heavenly Sky Sect had been graceful enough to offer her a runner to deliver her message- a gesture for which she had been glad.
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Glad, not because she was ashamed of herself for not being able to face her parents after what happened to her sister. No, that guilt was hers alone to carry. Yanyue feared a much more drastic truth.
If she saw her parents, she feared that she would be unable to hold back the torrent of emotions that she had been suppressing for so long. Her struggles as she found herself in the Heavenly Sky Sect, ripped away from the small village that was her everything. Her dismay when she learned the truth of cultivator society as nepotism and sect politics reared their ugly head. And most of all, her helplessness when her sister was isolated from the sects resources, leading to her untimely demise.
Yanyue wanted to ask her parents if it had all been worth it. The difference in strength in the realm of cultivation was absolute. Even now, Dongmei Xue leisured in the Sky Division, with her army of healers operating at her beck and call. She was now Yao Shens disciple, but that did not mean that her master would kill Dongmei Xue for her if she asked- she understood, of course. A powerful healer was far too valuable of a resource for a sect, any sect to expend.
And her own measly foundation establishment cultivation could not so much as scratch Dongmei Xue, let alone harm her.
Over half a mortal lifespan had gone by, yet Yanyue wasnt strong enough to protect any of the things she wanted to. Not her sister. Not herself, against Dongmei Xue. If her master were to die, Yanyue didnt expect to live much longer- not after the humiliation and loss of face she had caused the Xue family.
So she had to ask, if any of it had been worth it?
Would it not have been better to live and die as a mortal, amongst family and friends? What was worth endless youth or strength if it failed time and time again, to grant her true desires?
There was not a single reason for someone like her to like Shadow.
At first, Yanyue had thought that it was the gratefulness she felt towards her master had spilled over to her Senior Sister, Shadow. But no it was more than that.
Yanyue had never met a cultivator that did anything without calculation. Kindness had its place amongst mortals, but in the Sect system there was a constant competition. Better performance in martial competitions, alchemy contests and healing art proficiencies meant that every disciple was embattled against their own peers for a limited amount of resources.
That did not mean that disciples could not be helpful to one another, only that it came with the strings of reciprocation attached.
Shadow, though, had offered to fight Dongmei Xue for her. Nay, she would have fought the Matriarch of the Xue Family if it was not for Yanyues own impassioned plea to stop.
Yanyue hadnt understood why Shadow would do that, but now, with what her Master had told her
Shadow wasnt shy or even socially awkward. She wasnt the emotionless demon hunter that the other disciples made her out to be.
Shadow didnt know how to interact with people and she was trying to do the best she could. She was fiercely protective of the disciples her Master had acknowledged, because she had already lost her family, her entire family and village once. To that end, she would fight a Nascent Soul Cultivator or even a Soul Emperor if required.
Yanyue was she felt melancholic at not having picked up on these cues earlier.
At the same time though, it came with a new-found resolve.
Yanyue could dedicate the rest of her life to solely cultivating, but even then, she doubted that it would be possible to catch up to Senior Sister Shadows prodigious talent.
However, Shadow had her own weaknesses.
No matter how long it took or how persistent she would have to be, Yanyue resolved then. She would protect her Senior Sister in her own way and make sure that not a single soul was able to take advantage of her innocence.
Even if the cost was her own.
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