Chapter 30: The Room Without Her (1)
Previous | Chapter List | Next A dream.She saw a dream.A distant day that played out a long, long time ago.In front of her was a small, yet stylish house.She went past the door and entered the corridor. She opened the door.There was a woman doing needlework by the fireplace.......Mama!Oh-ho, what is it? What a waste of your cute face, no?The young and beautiful woman stopped her work and greeted her crying child warmly.To avoid injuring her daughter, she placed her sewing tools by the side and embraced her gently into her chest.Her emerald eyes reflected the emotions and anxieties of an affectionate mother.The child sobbed and whined.Um...Ev-everybody was mean. T-They said they didnt want to play.Oh dear...did you have an argument with your friends?The child swung her head side to side in response to her mother.After a short pause, she painfully told her mother.......They didnt want to be friends with me.There was no way she could have had an argument with non-existent people.This child had not a single friend.The mother gloomily lowered her brows.Surely, she had a clue about what was happening to her daughter.The child continued complaining while being unable to empathise with her mothers distress.Your mother cheated!Making friends with nobles is unfair!Thats what all the other adults say!Commoners hate stories of upstarts too.Especially so if it was about getting closer to nobles, who were a pain in their butts.Particularly, in the case of this mother and daughter:Playing with the kept woman is going to infect us with disease!You get infected with an embarrassing prostitute disease!Thus, they hated the nobles kept woman and her child.They were half baked existences that could neither be considered a commoner nor a noble. Since she was a woman who stood together with their oppressors and her daughter, the child of such parents, the masses who lacked authority and wealth probably to be a target to beat up and release their pent-up anger. Instead, they would likely only show their disdain and talk behind their backs so frequently that even their children would remember what they have said.Sob...The mother found it hard to control herself and embraced her daughter.M-Mama?The child looked at her mother strangely.Sorry...sorry! Because of me!Drops of warm tears trickled down to her cheeks.Mama, are you crying? Are you hurting somewhere!?No, I am fine. I am fine...but I am sad that you had to sufferThe mother shivered while choking on her words. She was definitely blaming herself for everything. If she had been born to a proper noble, she would not have to be ill-treated by the children of commoners. If she had been born to a wealthy commoner, she would have been able to make new friends.Because I am a no-good parent, I have caused difficulties for my daughter...No...even Mama is crying...The daughter who was in her arms twisted and turned at the unease she felt.Mama isnt no-good! Among the adults I know, Mama is the kindest!Sniff...thank you for saying that.The mother bravely returned a smile to her daughters childish consolation. Then she caressed her head gently. The child smiled at her mothers warm sensation.I love Mama! Thats why I want to grow up to become like Mama!The young mother could not help but strain her smile slightly. Her way of smiling appeared to be hiding some kind of pain.That is no good. Not good.She tried her best to correct her in a joking manner. The child blinked her eyes in surprise.Eh! Why?I am sure that you will become an adult more upright than me.She looked as though she was praying or dreaming.Compared to me, who is a commoner, you have the noble blood of your father. I am sure you will become a wonderful lady.Papa?Yes. The papa that you love dearly too.She spoke with a slight tinge of red in her face.He is a splendid and kind person. He has been saying that her wife will not be able to calm down now, but one day, he will welcome you into their household.Papa will bring me in? Not come here?Their house is far grander than this. And then, he can spend more time with you too.Really!? Papa will play with me more often!?The child shouted in exhilaration. She must love her father. Just hearing about her father makes her so happy.Towards her innocent smile, her mother forced a smile.For that day to come, you have to study hard!......I am not allowed to just play?Right, you arent allowed to. You have to listen to your papa.The child moaned in protest, but soon, she seemed to have noticed something and looked up.......What about Mama?Eh?If I follow father, what will Mama do?The child seemed to have realised that her mother avoided talking about herself. She sounded unsure again. Her mothers expression became clouded.......I will not be able to go.Why?The wife will be enraged at me.She squeezed slightly harder at her childs hand.It hurts...Ah!? Sorry...I suddenly...The mother quickly tried to soothe her child who started crying again.Once her daughter became calm again, she continued.......Mama cannot go. Because Mama isnt the legitimate wife of papa.Mama isnt a wife? Even though Mama is so loving with papa? Is it different from the storybooks?Man and woman meet, fall in love, marry each other and build a happy family. A plausible story from a fairytale for children. The mother gloomily nodded.Yes...Because Mama isnt a wife, you have had to sufferShe said and hugged her daughter closely again.You shouldnt become a woman like me. Please do not become a mother who makes her own child cry. Do as your father says and become an upright lady. Please...become a beautiful bride one day.Will Mama be happy if I become a bride?Of course, Mama will be very happy.With her hand, she gently combed her childs hair.Make a promise with Mama. If you ever find somebody you like as much as Papa, make sure to become his bride.Make sure to never become like her, and end up being looked down upon as a mistress. She was probably trying to convey this implicitly.Bride of somebody I like...The child clumsily repeated what her mother said. She was still a small child. Definitely, she did not understand the meaning and the weight of love. Nevertheless, she seemed to have perceived her mothers fervour and soaked up her wish.......Mm! I promise! I will definitely become a bride!She declared aloud. She was undoubtedly smiling from ear to ear as she declared. Good. Do not forget it. Okay? Anrietta...The mother was smiling like a budding lily....And so, the mothers wish was carved into her childs heart.Become an upright lady.Find a wonderful romance.Become a beautiful bride.Surely such a pure and innocent wish wouldThat must be a glitch.The girl who awoke from her dream shivered as she said.
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