Book 5: Chapter 31: Curiosity
Sen had hoped that Fu Ruolan had been satisfied that his failures meant the problem wasnt with his technique. Instead, he spent nearly two full weeks running one failed attempt after another. On each attempt, Fu Ruolan would change one thing in the refining process. The whole situation was tedious and frustrating, but Sen had done similar things in the early days of learning cultivation. It was the brute force method of learning something and, much as he hated to admit it, the method works with enough patience. Yet, two weeks and hundreds of permutations of the process later, all they had really done was confirm the initial assessment that the problem wasnt with Sens technique.
He desperately wanted to say that it had been a colossal waste of time but couldnt quite bring himself to do it. He had assumed that the problem wasnt with how he carried out the process. Fu Ruolan assumed the same. However, there would have always been the niggling doubt if they hadnt done all of those variations to know it with certainty. Now, they both knew. He had been relieved that theyd done all of that work using Fu Ruolans stockpile of plants, herbs, and reagents. It wasnt that Sen couldnt afford to replace them. He just didnt have easy access to a place where he could replace them. It would have taken a trip to somewhere that supported a big enough concentration of sects that theyd have everything he needed. The only place he knew of where that would be the case was back in the capital. Even moving at his best speed, that was a trip that would take months.
If they had been using his limited supply, much of which hed burned through with his initial round of failures, his only real option would have been to go out and gather more in the nearby forest. While he likely could gather much of what he needed there and eventually would do just that, it took time. And even in a place as lush as the wilds, there was only so much in any given location. Just replacing what he had used up could take him weeks, assuming he could find it at all. Some things that he had carried with him from Uncle Khos mountain simply wouldnt grow in his current location. Hed have to find alternatives which would also take time. Beyond that, the prime growing season was largely over with autumn approaching fast.
As it was, he was going to have to take a few days and replace what he could before the local plant life died off entirely. Sen had been so engrossed in his thoughts about what hed need to do and even what hed need to find that he completely missed Fu Ruolan directing a question at him. It was only when she snapped her fingers in front of his face that he came back to himself. He jerked back from the motion and noise, almost dropping the cauldron in his hands. Fu Ruolan shook her head and rolled her eyes in a double indication of her minor annoyance.
What? asked Sen.
I asked if you were done cleaning that yet.
Oh, said Sen. No, just a moment.
Sen gestured at the inside of the cauldron and used his version of the auric technique that he had seen Fu Ruolan use on a cauldron a couple of weeks prior. With a gesture and a slight burst of wind qi, he tossed the waste into the small bucket where the rest had gone. He bled the last of heat from the cauldron with a quick application of fire qi and set it on the table. He turned to ask Fu Ruolan something that immediately evaporated from his mind when he saw her staring at him with her eyes bulging. He took a step back. It was the most insane expression shed given him since that first day.
Where did you learn how to do that? she asked in a weak voice.
Sen struggled to find his voice for a moment. I saw you do it. It looked easier.
You saw me do that? When?
That first day when you asked me to show you how I was trying to refine pills.
You saw me do that once, and managed to figure out how to do it for yourself in two weeks?
Sen shook his head. No. I learned a similar technique. It just never occurred to me that I could use it that way. Once I saw you do it, though, it was just practice.
What technique did you learn?
The person who taught me called it auric imposition.
But youre a core cultivator, said Fu Ruolan.
Sen recognized that she meant something specific by that, but he wasnt sure what it was. He couldnt tell if she thought he shouldnt know the technique, shouldnt be able to do the technique, or maybe even shouldnt have met anyone who could teach it to him. Whatever the reason for that reaction, he didnt know what response she wanted or expected. So, Sen fell back on what he knew. He shrugged.
Yes, thats true. Im a core cultivator.
She just stared at him with those wild eyes in a way that made him feel like she was going to try to tear the information she wanted right out of his skull.
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Where did you learn it? Did Feng Ming teach you that? Ma Caihong? demanded Fu Ruolan.
Sen met that demand with a flat glare. Cultivators might discuss what they know how to do, especially after theyve exposed a technique to the scrutiny of others, but it was something else entirely to reveal the source of that knowledge. It could unintentionally expose a teacher to danger, or reveal the existence of a scroll or even a ruin that the cultivator wishes to keep secret. It was taboo to even ask, particularly among wandering cultivators. After all, they were far more likely to have a fortunate encounter during their constant travel than their sect-restricted cousins. While Sen thought that the dragon who taught him the technique could take care of himself, he also believed the dragon would not appreciate it if a nascent soul cultivator showed up making demands or being insane. On the other hand, there had been an almost hysterical edge to Fu Ruolans voice when shed been asking those questions.
I had a fortunate encounter with a dragon, said Sen.
It wasnt exactly an answer, but it was as far as he was willing to go. He figured that would be enough information for her to understand how hed come by the technique, but not enough for her to actually track down the source of information. Sen had covered a lot of ground since he left Orchards Reach. He and Falling Leaf were the only people who knew exactly where theyd encountered the dragon. Neither of them was likely to give up that information. Even if Fu Ruolan found the general area where theyd left the roads and traveled into the wilds, she could spend a long time looking for the dragon and never find him. That was particularly true if the dragon didnt want to be found. After their talk, Sen had walked away with the impression that the dragon, while clearly lonely, didnt make himself known to anyone who didnt meet some particular standard. The nature of that standard was wholly opaque to Sen, but he didnt need to understand it to recognize that it existed. While Sen followed the trail of thoughts, Fu Ruolan just gaped at him.
A dragon spoke to you? she asked.
Yes.
A dragon taught you?
Yes, said Sen, feeling that answer was self-evident.
Why would a dragon teach you? Why would a dragon even speak to you?
I have no idea, said Sen. Boredom, maybe. It said it was old.
Define old, said Fu Ruolan.
Older than you, hedged Sen.
Where did she started and Sen held up a hand.
No. Im not going to tell you anything that might expose the dragons location or identity, said Sen.
He could see the anger flare in her eyes. That didnt make him happy, but hed known that she wouldnt like that. Nascent soul cultivators just didnt hear the word no that often. Granted, that was because saying no to one was a great way to bring your life to an abrupt end. Inherently dangerous or not, it was still necessary. Before that anger could explode onto Sen in a life-ending burst of violence, he spoke again.
The same way I wont expose your location or identity if someone poses a similar question to me about something I learn from you.
That declaration brought her up short. He could see the war of opposing wants on her face. She wanted to know about the dragon. She wanted her privacy. Demanding or forcing information from Sen about the dragon would mean forfeiting any and all hope that he would respect her want for privacy. If anything, it would all but guarantee that Sen would tell anyone and everyone who asked exactly where to find her. While she was strong enough to kill almost anyone who bothered her, that would still mean interrupting her day to do it. She couldnt have it both ways. She knew it, and she hated it. He saw the resignation on her face before she said anything.
Very well. I wont try to make you tell me, she said in a defeated voice. Still, it begs the question of who you are or who you were. No one has the kind of luck youve had. It defies reason. Its fundamentally unnatural.
Sen said nothing. He had his own suspicions about the source of that dubious luck, but he wasnt about to share those suspicions with Fu Ruolan. He hadnt even shared them with the people closest to him. She stood there, clearly waiting for him to say something. When he just looked back at her with a bland expression, she threw her hands up into the air.
You cant blame me for being curious, she declared.
Sen thought that over before he nodded. I dont blame you for being curious. I think curiosity is even a good thing.
But you still wont answer.
Questions dont always have answers. Neither do the people those questions are put to. More importantly, not every question deserves an answer. A friend of mine told me once that not everything was her business. Curiosity doesnt justify itself, especially when that curiosity is about a persons past.
Youre telling me that youve never dug into someones past?
I have, admitted Sen. That doesnt mean I was right to do so. Ive also let it go when I thought it wasnt my business, even to my own detriment.
Sen couldnt help but think of Chan Yu Ming. If hed really known who she was from the start, so much trouble could have been avoided. Of course, avoiding that trouble would likely have left the old king on his throne. That certainly wouldnt have been a better outcome, at least not for the children he was murdering. Even with a lot of time to reflect on those events, he wasnt sure what he thought of them. Hed done a lot of damage there, and hed done a lot of good. He wasnt sure it balanced. He wasnt sure about the karma of it all, or what kind of price he might pay down the road for those actions. He did wish hed handled parts of it differently. He wasnt sure that any version of events would have changed how he left things with Chan Yu Ming, but he might have left things on better terms with the prince. He might haveSen shook those thoughts off with a grimace.
Hed ridden that spiral of thoughts all the way down and they didnt go anywhere but a dark place. No matter what he might have done, it didnt change what hed actually done. There would be consequences. There would be a price. Hed just have to pay when it all came due. He felt Fu Ruolans gaze on him and glanced up. Whatever anger or frustration shed been feeling had been replaced with a look that bordered on concern. He gave her a half smile and shrugged.
Sometimes, not asking questions is the wrong choice, offered Sen. With me, though, theres nothing to learn. Im just a street rat who got very lucky.
Some would say too lucky, retorted Fu Ruolan.
Yes. Some would. It doesnt make them right.
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