Chapter 178: Fear of freedom
After observing the work on the sandy shore, I was then guided to a forest located north of the village. Hectia urged me to help with the work and to investigate me further, but Eins ignored her and led me away.
Sechs continued his tasks in silence, and Sieben went as far as grabbing her collar and lifting her to make her stop talking. They revered their creator, Aiwass, but it seemed that being his disciples didn’t earn Hectia any special treatment.
“It’s a quiet place, isn’t it? I can hear the birds, but that’s about it.”
“It’s a real remote spot from the other continents, and it ain’t all that big, mind you. Dangerous critters for the islanders have long been wiped out, ya see.”
So, they were weeded out, which is what he was saying. In order to establish a comfortable living environment for themselves, they eliminated any threats to their existence. It seemed to be one of the human species’ greatest strengths.
However, in the process, members of the same race often killed each other. The invasion of the Enzo Continent by the Republic Army was a battle between those who sought a better environment and those who wanted to protect their existing one.
The situation was probably more complex, but that’s the essence of that war. Destroying others for the sake of one’s own peace might be a path all life forms have to tread for their development. From the perspective of those being destroyed, it was far from a trivial matter.
“Right now, there ain’t much here ‘cept for birds, small animals, and insects. Oh, the tree fruits are edible, ya know. Don’t forget to gather the wild vegetables over there; they’re very tasty.”
“Is that so?”
“Wait! Don’t step on the herbs at your feet!”
“Mm, got it.”
What I was doing in the northern forest was collecting plants while being taught by Eins. He provided explanations about the creatures inhabiting the forest while simultaneously collecting edible plants. I was interested and decided to learn while assisting.
The knowledge of wild plants would surely come in handy in the future. It seemed that the plants growing in this forest were not uncommon on the Enzo Continent, so this knowledge would be useful when we camped.
“Eins, isn’t that mushroom the one you showed me earlier?”
“Oh! You spotted it well! This here’s a must-have for the master, ya see. We take care to cultivate it, but for some reason, the wild ones have stronger medicinal effects.”
Given that I was learning from him, I knew I had to work diligently in exchange. I imprinted the shape of the plants Eins had mentioned he was looking for in my mind and put my all into searching, using my compound eyes that could see in all directions and my vibration sensing.
Thanks to the effort, we managed to gather materials at an unprecedented pace, which pleased Eins. I hoped that my contributions would be of some help. Though a bit ahead of schedule, we decided to head back to the mansion.
Returning to the mansion would require the power of Drei to fly through the skies. As I pondered whether we would meet somewhere, Drei suddenly came out from nowhere.
“Good grief, whether it’s big brother or Sieben, luminous crystalline life forms sure are rough with me!”
“You’re late. You should’ve come quickly when I called ya.”
Eins responded to the complaining Drei with a nonchalant attitude. It seemed that Eins still harbored a grudge from the morning’s incident.
But what intrigued me even more was Eins’s statement. He had just said, “I called.” I had been right by his side the whole time, and I knew he wasn’t using any kind of spiritual arts or tools. When and how had he called out to Drei?
“Oh, ya see, we can communicate with our distant siblings without usin’ words; it’s all thanks to Zwei.”
“Big sister is really amazin’.”
Could such a thing be possible? It seemed to be a form of telepathy that wasn’t bound by distance. What made it possible was apparently Zwei, the crystal orb hanging from the ceiling. It couldn’t move, but it possessed a variety of abilities.
Impressed by this handy device, I returned to the mansion with Eins and Drei. However, since there was still time until dinner, I was told that I was free to do what I wanted.
Freedom. It was a word I had longed for more than anything. However, when they told me to enjoy my freedom, I found myself in a dilemma. The reason being, I had no idea what to do with it.
Up until now, all I had to do was follow orders and do as I was told. I had no freedom, and it was a path I had no choice but to tread. But now things were different. I had to decide for myself what I wanted to do, and for someone like me who had never experienced such a thing, it was incredibly difficult.
“Hmm… staying in my room will get me down. Well then, I suppose I’ll get some exercise.”
Frustrated with my own indecision, I decided to head outside and engage in some physical training. Unfortunately, my beloved twin swords were lost because they were eaten by that whale, and I had been so preoccupied with defending myself that my waistband and other items had melted away as well.
As a result, all I could do was practice my martial arts, but that was enough. Right now, I just had the urge to move my body.
“Hya! Hoo! Ha!”
I trained, envisioning the most powerful foes I had faced so far, especially those who had excelled in combat skills. The opponent I envisioned was the old holy knight I had sparred with during my life as a scorpion.
That victory was the result of various factors aligning in my favor, but in terms of pure strength, I was still far from matching him even today. The refined moves of that opponent, honed to their limits, were still etched into my mind, and I yearned to become strong enough to defeat him even when facing him head-on.
Master was no slouch in terms of strength either, but we had never engaged in a life-and-death battle. It was just easier to imagine facing an opponent I had actually confronted. Besides… even in my imagination, the thought of a deadly showdown with Master was somewhat uncomfortable.
“Ugh… this won’t do. I can’t handle him barehanded after all.”
Even in my imagination, that holy knight continued to press the attack relentlessly. I couldn’t find an opening for a counterattack, and I ended up being defeated, ultimately sliced by his blade. To think that I would be defeated by an imaginary opponent because I knew the real deal…how pathetic.
I regained my composure and squared off against the imaginary holy knight once more, using my martial arts. This time, I decided to take the initiative and attack, but the result was a devastating defeat. It was reckless to go on the offensive against a superior opponent when the odds were stacked against me.
“Hey~. It’s almost time for dinner~.”
“Got it.”
Having tasted defeat many times during my training, I was called by Eins, who leaned out of the mansion’s window. It seemed like that time had come before I knew it. I was so focused on moving my body that I lost track of time.
I concluded my training and entered the mansion, where Eins was waiting for me. He led me to the mansion’s dining room. The dining room was surprisingly spacious, with a large rectangular table in the center that could accommodate more than ten people.
“Oh, you’re here. I’ve been looking forward to it.”
“My apologies if I kept you waiting.”
“No need to apologize. Come, have a seat.”
As I entered the dining room, I was greeted by Aiwass sitting at the head of the table. Next to him was a tired-looking Hectia, who was glaring at Eins and me with resentment. It was probably because we didn’t assist her after that.
But in the first place, the retrieval of the whale was Hectia’s responsibility, and it had nothing to do with me. With a clear conscience, I completely ignored her gaze and took my seat.
“How about it? This is a good island, isn’t it?” Aiwass asked.
“Yeah, at the very least, the people here are undoubtedly much kinder than those from the Empire.”
“That’s right. When I’m stuck in my research, interacting with these simple folks is quite rejuvenating.”
Aiwass nodded and agreed with me. It seemed that even someone as competent as Aiwass could encounter research roadblocks. I was beginning to feel a bit closer to him.
While we were discussing this, Eins brought our meal to the table. I was a bit anxious because I was entirely unfamiliar with the etiquette of such formal dinners, but what was placed on the table was a generously filled plate of stew with various ingredients and a side of bread.
“Don’t hesitate; go ahead and eat. Eins’s cooking is exquisite.” Aiwass said.
“Ughh, I hate vegetables…” Hectia murmured.
I had expected a more formal meal that required table manners, but to my surprise, the menu was something I could easily eat with just a spoon and my hands. Perhaps they had adjusted it to accommodate my lack of knowledge of etiquette. I made them worry, huh.
Leaving that thought aside, I followed Aiwass’s suggestion and took a sip of the stew. It was certainly delicious, but beyond the sweetness, I couldn’t quite discern the other flavors. I continued to eat the bread and stew in silence.
“I want you to listen to this while you eat. We’ve made progress on your return to the Enzo continent. You can depart anytime after three days.”
“I appreciate it.”
I didn’t know what method Aiwass would use, but if he could get everything ready in just three days, it was more than fast enough for me. I expressed my gratitude sincerely and bowed deeply.
However, Aiwass continued to stare at me without giving any indication of agreement, as if suggesting that the real matter was about to be discussed.
“I’d like to ask you one thing. What are your intentions once you return to the Enzo continent?”
“What do you mean?”
“Going back to your comrades. That’s perfectly fine. But what do you plan to do after your return?”
I couldn’t provide an immediate answer to Aiwass’s question. My desire to return to my comrades was unwavering. However, I had never given any thought to what I would do once I returned.
Is there even anything I can do? I am bound by the binding spiritual arts, with no freedom of my own. Even if I were to think of something I’d like to do, it would be impossible to achieve. After reuniting with them, my only option would be to continue serving as a lackey for the Empire, just as before…
“Could it be that you’ve already given up from the start? Even if you set some goals, you believe there’s nothing you can do because of the binding spiritual arts.”
“…”
“Please don’t underestimate me. With my expertise, I can easily dispel that kind of spiritual art as if it were child’s play. Do you understand? You have already gained your freedom.”
“What… do you mean…!?”
The revealed truth had hit me with such force that my mind went blank. I was already free? There was absolutely no sense of that reality.
To have the freedom I had longed for suddenly thrust upon me took on a shape I couldn’t fully comprehend. The first emotion I experienced upon gaining freedom was not elation but confusion. The next feeling was not joy but a vague sense of fear.
“Hmm, the absence of any prior experience with freedom seems to be a drawback. It appears that the shock of losing the kind of tranquility that enslavement brought, even when desiring freedom, was profound.”
Aiwass was absolutely right. The fear I felt was rooted in the newfound responsibility that came with the freedom to make my own decisions and choices.
I didn’t even know what to do during my free time before dinner, but it seemed that this would continue to be the case from now on. Could I get used to this situation?
“It’s natural to feel bewildered. Use these three days to decide what you should do. Time is short, as it seems.”
“Ah, I’m so full! I’m going to take a bath and sleep…”
“Hectia, I believe I assigned you a task, didn’t I?”
“Ugh! I completely forgot!”
Hectia had finished her meal and stood up while we were talking, but she seemed to remember something after Aiwass’s reminder. She hurriedly rushed off somewhere. Meanwhile, all I could do was keep watching the steam disappear from the surface of the stew.
**********
TN: Alright! Here it is!
TN: Never thought that this could be a problem, but it’s true that mc was never free in this life. Plus he doesn’t remember his past life.
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